the office: snack episode (link)
10.08.09 - the ny times - by randy cohen

advice columnists sure have evolved. "advice columnist" used to mean dear abby giving homemakers advice on how to speak up to your nosy mother-in-law. these days, dear abby's still around, but there are also advice columnists like dan savage, who will give you advice on whether it's ok to sleep with your nosy mother-in-law. the ny times has randy cohen's syndicated weekly "the ethicist" column. dude's won four emmys (three for writing on letterman, one for writing on michael moore's tv nation), so he's clearly well qualified to give advice.

in yesterday's column, he answered three food-related questions--about how to avoid snack temptation around the office, what to do with unhealthy food donated to a homeless shelter & how to deal with a relative who should be eating better for health reasons but refuses to. the first question was from someone from somerville, MA who was trying to watch their weight but whose co-worker was hosting an "all-office dessert swap." they wanted to avoid it & were curious if it was ok to lie & say that their doctor told them to stay away from sweets. cohen suggested avoiding lying, saying that instead, they should simply skip the dessert swap & ask the boss to "make yours a cake-free workplace." i'm sorry, but it's one thing to ask your boss to curb sexual harassment in the workplace. it's a whole other thing to ask them to curb cake. how about suggesting that they use a little willpower?

the next question came from marc ross, an l.a. resident who works at a homeless center. one of the goals at the center is to help clients improve their diets, but the center often receives "unhealthy, highly processed food" in their donations. ross doesn't want to throw it out, but feels bad giving it to other centers, because it just means a different group of people will be eating unhealthy food. in this case, cohen suggested that if it means the difference "between bad food and no food," they should pass the food along. if they aren't able to do that, they should just stockpile the "mac’n’cheesefoodproductsynthi-goo" in case of natural disaster. good advice. from what i hear, mac’n’cheesefoodproductsynthi-goo will last through a nuclear holocaust.

the final question came from a man whose relative had been told by her doctor that she should eat healthy, but who still doesn't. when this relative comes to visit, they make healthy food, but it doesn't matter, because she still has breakfast, "followed by a second breakfast, elevenses and raids on the children’s halloween candy." that's not just unhealthy. that's wrong. you don't take candy from kids. cohen lets the man know that they're already doing all they can by serving healthy food, but they can "lock up the kids’ candy." maybe they should have the relative locked up as well.