crisp lover changes name to mr monster munch (link)
12.3.09 - the telegraph

i lived a fairly tame high school existence. unlike a lot of folks, during my four years of high school, i never once drank & none of my friends did either. instead, we amused ourselves with such hilarity as "eat weird shit night," where we'd hang out at a friend's house & over the course of the evening, see who could consume the craziest items in exchange for money, from tobasco sauce & flowers to sticks of butter & cupfuls of sauces & juices. it was essentially the non-drinker's equivalent of seeing who could drink the most beers. it was all part of that distinctly male desire to prove yourself & surprise your friends by accepting their dares & pushing the limits of typical behavior. dudes love challenging each other. i mean, it was no male boob job or tucker max experience, but it was fun.

in the uk, one guy recently used his obsession with snacks to amaze his mates. according to the telegraph, in a feat of extraordinary daredom, a 26-year old plumber who used to be named chris hunt changed his name to "monster munch" in honor of the walkers-produced crisps. apparently he eats them non-stop throughout the day, even devising "recipes to include monster munch in rice and pasta dishes." since he's so obsessed, his friends dared him to change his name & to their surprise he totally went through with it. now he "demand(s) to be called either 'monster' or 'mr munch'.'' hilarious! best. name. ever.

since he's constantly eating crisps, you'd think that mr munch, who "starts the day with packet of pickled onion monster munch, has a roast beef monster munch sandwich for lunch and a flamin' hot flavour bag for dinner" would be all out-of-shape & whatnot, but he's not. monster told the telegraph "i make sure i eat a balanced diet and i run 35 miles a week and train in the gym three times a week." that's probably a good idea, since being named "monster munch" isn't as cool when it refers to your weight. the whole thing's actually a bit inspiring. i've wanted to change my name to "phil r upp" for some time now. maybe now i can work up the courage to actually make that happen & impress my friends.