men charged in heist of theater safe and snacks (link)
04.08.09 - the salem news (ma) - by julie manganis

beer, snacks stolen in service station break-in (link)
04.08.09 - the cedartown standard (ga) - by todd ollis

criminals often aren't the smartest people on earth. it's always been my thought that if you're going to go all the way & start stealing things, you should a) be smart enough to not get caught and b) be smart enough to steal something worth stealing. as is probably quite apparent, i'm a big fan of snacks. at the same time, snacks do not rank high enough on my list of wants/needs to warrant stealing to get them. after getting caught stealing kid n play's 2 hype during high school, i learned my lesson.

unfortunately, not everyone experiences my superior level of intelligence & since people are stealing stuff all the time, people are getting caught all the time. luckily, we have small town news to keep us up to date with those who commit what i like to call "snacktheivery." yesterday, both the salem news & cedartown standard reported on such incidents.

as julie manganis reports, in salem, mass, a man came up with a brilliant plan to hide inside a movie theater until it closed, sneak a friend in & try to make off with the safe and a basket of candy & soda. the two were caught when a security guard noticed them carrying the safe across the street. wicked smaht.

according to todd ollis' article, in cedartown, ga, police responded to a break-in at a local gas station, where someone had smashed the window & made off with two cases of beer & a bag of chex mix (valued at $21.19). it turns out that the criminal got cold feet & dumped the loot, which police later found. in another part of town, police were called to a local food store after surveillance tapes revealed that a man came in the store & left with “six steaks or items in his jacket.”  as press time, the suspect was still at large & likely full of beefy goodness.