the musical fruit: movement #8.
song: "cafeteria bananas," hella
fruit: banana
guest blogger: chris



if you could imagine the sound that computers and robots make when they do really quick number crunching, that’d be kinda like listening to north cali's hella. their music (& more specifically their 2002 debut album hold your horse is), features only two members playing what seems to be completely unrelated solos...at the same time. with a sound like theirs, it only made sense that the album was released on 5RC, a basically now-defunct spinoff label from kill rock stars. you know? the label that has all kinds of music for people with A.D.D.? bands like deerhoof, xiu xiu (who blogged about growing cherries yesterday) and erase errata? yeah. that label.

believe you me, when i was searching for a topic for this here blog entry & noticed that one of hella's songs off of hold your horse is was titled "cafeteria bananas," i got excited. it was a surprise to me, since i stopped looking at song titles a long time ago...about the same time i stopped reading a lot. i found that i am way more of a visual thinker than i could even explain. let’s go out to dinner...wait, what was that? i was too busy trying to figure out how that lighting fixture was made. the plastic part was probably injection molded and the decorative metal part was probably stamped out of a larger sheet at like 1000 pieces a minute. so yeah, hella. noise. computers. bee boo ba boo...A.D.D.

i f’n love bananas. i do a lot of physical work on a daily basis and eat at least two a day to keep me going. also, i'm diabetic, so when my blood sugar's low & i'm all over the place, bananas help bring me back to reality. one day i rode my bike for about four hours straight with barely any water or food. then i got off my bike and my leg muscles froze up and made me all forrest gump style. two emergency bananas from a gas station later...crisis averted. potassium rules. so, in an effort to make everyone reading this know what my head is like all the time, the whole next paragraph will be thoughts as they come to me.

bananaman was a sweet ass cartoon that i used to watch before going to school in like 4th grade. bananas can be used as a telephone, to make your enemy slip and die, or to make inappropriate jokes. "nope, that’s a banana in my pocket, sorry to disappoint you." gorillas, monkeys, the shittiest runt flavor, not bad dried, velvet underground, brown already? you’ve gotta be kidding me! seriously, i attempted to remove one banana from the bunch and the stem detached from all the other five? lame. bananas are grown in at least 107 countries. thanks wikipedia. ring ring ring ring, banana phone. peanut butter jelly time? what the hell does a banana have to do with peanut butter & jelly? bananas in pyjamas? c'mon. they don't even have legs. besides, they don't need vertical stripes, they are already tall as shit...bananas!

chris is the older younger brother of the mastermind behind eat!drink!snack! he's a custom woodworker, holds degrees in both funeral services & industrial design & holds the distinction of being the member of the family who's made the most appearances on mtv & espn.