the musical fruit: movement #9.
song: "the grapes song," demetri martin
fruit: red grapes



...gotta be honest with you. i started off trying to give demetri martin's comedy central show important things with demetri martin a fair shake. by the end of the seven-episode first season, i was over it. it was funny & all, but the funniest parts were the more ridiculous ones & those only happened about 40% of the time. most of the time, i felt like i was watching my dad tell jokes. i know that dry, smart humor is his shtick & all, but i'd prefer to laugh more...anyway, it's coming back for another season beginning in 2010, so i guess i got my wish for them to shtick with it. here's to it getting up to 50% ridiculous funny by next season.

"the grapes song," off of his album these are jokes is a perfect example of his more ridiculous moments. you should at least check out the whole song on the youtube. it sounds sort of like a song by cake or beck, but with demetri's grandma talking over the music. "i like peaches. i like pineapple. almost everything. fruit is the best thing you can eat," she says. fuck yeah, grandma! anyway, grandma must be proud because demetri's got his first lead role in an ang lee film that came out here in nyc on wednesday & nationwide yesterday, taking woodstock. it's the story of elliot tobin, the guy who offered up his family hotel to the organizers of woodstock. demetri is elliot. the star! you should probably eat some grapes in his honor. raisins are good too. don't eat the brown acid or something.

i really hope demetri is talking about red grapes, because those are the only good kind. f green grapes. those dudes are boring & aren't even good for making wine. they should just give up now. red grapes win & with that in mind, on the way into work yesterday, i picked up a bag of red grapes for breakfast & when i got into work, i fixed myself a big ol bowl of grapes whilst waiting for forever for my wack computer to boot up. since i was feeling suspiciously friendly & generous for that early in the morn, i dispensed grapes to the good people of my office. that's one of the sweet things about grapes. since they come in a bunch, you can share them with the world & really bring people together. grapes for everyone! bring me my concubines so they can feed me grapes whilst i recline!

this bunch of grapes was good & firm, pretty damn fresh. even when fresh & clean, red grapes always seem to have that spotty whitish appearance on the skin. without fail, every time i have red grapes, i try to wash it off, hoping it'd just go away. it doesn't. c'est la vie. regardless, it worked out just fine & i ended up finishing the whole bunch (with a lot of help from one particular co-worker) over the course of my first few hours at work. i have to say it was a nice way to ease into the day, chillin' at my desk snacking on grapes...& spreadsheets & reports & comps. i'm with demetri. i like grapes. they're so delicious. i like grapes. they're so nutritious. i like grapes.