#130 - the rolden golden age of comedy.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009 at 11:00PM
parowpyro in iced tea, meditations, pretzels, yumberry

the fall tv season's officially here & this past sunday night was a big one for premieres. for the folks over at fox, they had a lot riding on sunday's animation domination! block of programming. unfortunately, they weren't talking about some racy manga action. they were talking about rolling out their tired lineup of animated comedy shows (the simpsons, family guy, american dad!), with one new show (the cleveland show) added to the two-hour block of ahem...cartoon hilarity. for fox, it's their big comedy block. nobody was laughing over at fox on sunday though, especially seth macfarlane, who's responsible for three of those four shows. in the end, fox finished last in every time slot except for that of family guy, which barely beat out cbs's the amazing race 15.

since you can't spoil something that's already rotten, i'm going to just tell you what happens in all the premieres. animation domination! began with the simpsons, now in its 21st season. up until some time this decade, i used to LOVE the simpsons. to this day, i still quote from episodes & find myself often asking people "you remember that episode of the simpsons when..." now the show's just lame. the season premiere revolved around the comic book guy, who's created a superhero called "everyman" that hollywood's decided to make a film out of, since they've run out of ideas. a story made because they've run out of ideas? how meta of fox. who plays everyman? homer, of course. yawn. next up was the series premiere of the cleveland show, the family guy spinoff that they've been hyping up since spring of last year. the jokes, the settings, the family setup, everything...it's the same exact stuff as on family guy, but in a different city & with less interesting characters. yawn. good thing they've already ordered a second season of it.

the second hour kicked off with family guy, the only one of their shows that i actually try to catch if i'm in front of a tv at the time. based on the episode, titled "road to the multiverse," i may have to rethink that stance. the premise behind the episode was that stewie's created a remote control that lets him leap between universes. he reveals this to brian & they hop from wacky universe to wacky universe. the end. yawn. the last show in the block, american dad!, was actually my favorite of the four, which is surprising, since i generally can't stand it. in the episode, steve (the son) is asked to sing the national anthem before a group of veterans, but stan (the dad) doesn't think he's ready, so he subjects him to a vietnam war reenactment. fortunately, this time, hilarity actually ensued. i guess one out of four ain't bad. that's better than david ortiz is doing this year.

if fox isn't putting out good comedy any more, who is? there's some notable comedy programming this fall. jay leno's new show is notable, but only because it sucks worse than his last show. saturday's season premiere of snl was actually 75% funny, a level they haven't reached in quite some time. hbo's got two funny shows at the moment. so far, bored to death is the b-o-m-b. i love zach galifianakis. i love ted danson. i love jason schwartzman & can relate to so much of his character that it's scary. hbo also has curb your enthusiasm, which is back for a seventh season. i haven't really followed it, but i've seen the first two episodes of this season & larry david actually manages to make the main storyline (him trying to dump his girlfriend right when she finds out she has cancer) funny. on the same un-p.c. level, f/x's it's always sunny in philadelphia, which is by far the best comedy on television, is back as well. i guess that's where fox is hiding their funny shows these days.

#130 - the rolden golden age of comedy.
snack: rold gold parmesan garlic pretzel waves
drink: arizona tea water yumberry organic green tea



while i tried to stomach animation domination!, i filled my stomach with a bag of rold gold parmesan garlic pretzel waves. rold gold, who's been around since 1917 & a part of frito lay since 1999, apparently decided that they needed to roll out some new rold gold products to keep the public interested in pretzels. the boys down in development were feeling lazy & were all, "um...how about we take our sun chip technology, apply it to the pretzels & add some flavoring like the sun chips have? we could even put them in the same biodegradable bags that we're going to start putting sun chips in." the head guy was probably all "hmm. it's really similar to a sun chip. you know what? lose the biodegradable bag thing & run with it." BAM! the pretzel wave was born.

they're available in three flavors--cheddar, buffalo wing & parmesan garlic. believe me, i would've tried the buffalo wing flavor if they had it, but i had to make due with what they had. the parmesan garlic's not bad though. it's a flavor that's slightly reminiscent of the bold flavor of bold flavor chex mix, if you've ever tried that. once the pretzel waves were no more, i definitely poured the remaining flavor powder into my mouth from the corner of the bag. texturewise, when the sun chip technology's applied to the pretzel, the result is a chip that's essentially a pretzel-based sun chip with a tad bit of air in the middle. i was cool with them...now to find those buffalo wing flavored ones.

to wash down the bad taste left in my mouth by fox's animation domination!, i drank an arizona tea water yumberry organic green tea. wowzers. isn't that name a mess of a redundant mouthful? first off...tea water? isn't tea basically water that's had a tea bag in it for a spell? tea water, green tea...which one is it? your branding is stepping all over itself. c'mon, pepsi. get it together. i see you managed to get it together enough to partner with poland spring/nestle for the water supply, but not enough to come up with an unwieldy moniker. also, i'm sorry but i refuse to believe that the yumberry is an actual fruit. i simply refuse. please do not attempt to direct me to any web pages that dispel this theory. thanks.

as for the beverage itself, the label notes that it's "the perfect 20 calorie beverage." i'm curious as to what other 20 calorie beverages were in the running for that title, but i get it. according to this chart, as long as i can work four-and-a-half minutes of sex into my day, i'll burn those calories right off. i wonder if it has to be with another person to qualify. the flavor's fine, with the "yumberry" & the green tea flavor & whatnot. still, as a "tea water," it lives up to its name, tasting like a watered down iced tea. sure, the label lived up to its claim, since i was technically more "naturally hydrated" after finishing it than i was before i cracked it open, but next time, i'll get a bottle of poland spring water & keep the change.

Article originally appeared on meditation via snacking. (http://www.eatdrinksnack.com/).
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