nosh nook #187 - tuesday, december 1, 2009

IHOP celebrates the magic of the season with new holiday hotcakes (link)
11.30.09 - cnn money - via press release

it's december, people! you know what that means? that's right! it's that time of year again, the month or so where corporations & retailers all around the world band together & beat you over the head with holiday spirit until you start bleeding from your eyes, ears & wallet! are you ready? are you ready for holiday-themed foods & songs & promos & TV specials & fa la la la la la la la la? get excited, people! you'd better get excited or else jesus santa will be totally disappointed in you & won't bring you any everlasting life presents & you'll burn in hell cry like a baby. seriously...nobody wants that. especially the corporations & retailers. they have end-of-year numbers to hit & if they don't, news sources will ramble on about it for WEEKS...or at least until the next major celebrity screw up surfaces.

IHOP's on board with the holidays. yesterday, cnn money picked up a press release issued by IHOP that announces the addition of "mouth-watering new holiday hotcakes" to their menu for a limited time (until jan 3rd). IHOP seems to use the adjective "mouth-watering" a little excessively, but these mofoin' holiday hotcakes sound friggin de-lish, so i'm going to let it slide. they come in four flavors which for some reason they used the word "pancakes" instead of the word "hotcakes" in the names of. we're talking gingerbread pancakes, eggnog pancakes, pecan pie pancakes & pumpkin pancakes. pumpkin pancakes?!!! i love pumpkin. they start at $4.99, a perfect price point for my cheap ass. to be honest, i didn't even know there was an IHOP in brooklyn, but there are apparently two--one downtown near the fulton mall & another way the hell out in bergen beach. both of those locations scare me though, so i'll probably wait til i make it home to NH for the holidays before trying them...less chance of getting stabbed, ya know?

the hotcakes are all part of a holiday promo that also includes the "sammy and marcus off the mantel tour 2009," a contest that has two nutcrackers--a clever irishman & a witty new yorker--as its spokesmen. according to the press release, we'll enjoy their playful banter. i visited their youtube page & i'll say that they're like a less-exciting, less-funny, less-grumpy version of staler & waldorf. enjoyable? meh. anyway, the jist of the contest is that you visit the "off the mantel tour 2009" website, print out pictures of sammy & marcus, and photograph them doing the most "creative, unique and entertaining" holiday-themed things you can think of in the coolest locations you can think of. then you submit those photos to the site & every week until the end of the year, IHOP picks the ten best ones & gives out $50 gift cards for each.

i am so going to get one of those gift cards. i already have the BEST IDEA EVER. now i just need to get into the knicks locker room after they get destroyed by the heat on christmas day. if MSG's security is anything like the knicks' defense, that shouldn't be a problem. JK! i'm not going to sneak into the knicks locker room. i'm going to take a festive picture of them with my penis. there's no way IHOP could reject that, right? i mean, they might as well just mail me the gift card now.