#75 - girlfriend!

you ladies drive me absolutely crazy! and it's not always in an entirely awesome fine young cannibals way! i thought i knew what was going on with you but it turns out i'm still clueless, an amateur at reading you, often tentative about approaching you. don't even get me started, girlfriend!

as far as relationships go, i've barreled my way through a series of long-term relationships, one after the other, pretty much straight through since junior year of high school (barring the post-relationship periods). i've definitely earned the title of "serial monogamist." this, of course, doesn't include my first two+ years of college, the period of my life where i was most successful in getting my swerve on.

my first long-term relationship was in high school, when i was in a dysfunctional relationship with an insane girl that my friends lovingly referred to as "afro bitch." after the early college swerve-on period, late college brought a relationship with a redheaded girl from the midwest with the last name jones. i even moved down to florida & lived with her for a brief period. in sin! sin! then i moved back to boston & dated another redheaded girl from the midwest with the last name jones.

after that, it was off to brooklyn, where i knew absolutely nobody & as such, decided to test the waters of the craigslist dating scene circa 2001. it worked out pretty well for a while, as i ended up in a relationship with a cool girl i met through a craigslist ad that offered "bonus points for modest mouse fans." that was followed by a long relationship with a jersey girl who i met in nyc the exact same week i moved from nyc back to boston. after a few months, i moved back to nyc, but i'm a heathen (among other things), so that didn't work out...& that takes us to my current single state.

oh! guess what i just figured out?! if you take the "r" out of "girlfriend," you get "girlfiend." i'm just saying is all. oh. wait. that also applies to "boyfriend." never mind.

so yeah, i thought all that long-term relationship experience would be helpful in figuring out you ladies, but nope, i still have trouble reading you...plus, it's sort of killed my game. i'm working on that though.

#75 - girlfriend!
snack: zapp's spicy cajun crawtators potato chips
drink: presidente pilsner

last night, while i reminisced about all the girls i've loved before, i fed from a bag of zapp's spicy cajun crawtators potato chips. these chips, made by a company out of louisiana, are their top sellers & are infused with the "taste of a cajun boiled seafood feast." i've never been to such an event myself, but i assume it involves a copious amount of spicy & tasty bottom-feeders, crazy cajun accents & a crowd of people with spicy fish breath.

the crawtators are a well-put together potato chip. they're not very greasy & have a nice, solid, kettle-cooked feel to them. also, they have a slight, fishy taste to them that blends in well with all the cajun spices. oh! and also, according to their website, oprah has recommended them on her show, so i'm hoping that when she is crowned as our new overlord/ruler/demigod, our common enjoyment of these chips will spare me her wrath.

you ladies drive me to drink! well, not really, but it works well with the theme, so i had myself a cold 22 oz presidente pilsner to complement the spiciness of both the crawtators & my wistful memories.

back in college, during the period that will from this point forward be known as the "swerve-on days," i had a roommate from hong kong who drank nothing but presidente & carlsberg until he got a 0.0 GPA & flunked out & was replaced with some french dude. as one born in n.h., i was astounded by his crazy foreign beers. now, i think of presidente as a pretty meh beer. i don't care how many dj tiesto-involved concerts they put on. it's still going to be a bland, uneventful beer...nothing like you ladies though...you ladies are spicy!