#117 - sexy black-haired mamas.

who doesn't love a sexy black-haired mama? if you don't you're a communist. actually, there are a lot of sexy black-haired mamas in china, so i'm not sure if i still mean that or not. i mean, i sort of often have a thing for redheads & that may or may not have to do with some sort of weird freudian "my mom has red hair" thing that i don't want to get into but black hair: i enjoy it quite a bit. who doesn't? since back in the time when men were still men & wars were still wars & pinup girls were still pinned up by pins, there was bettie page, one of playboy's first centerfolds & for me, basically the babe ruth of black-haired mamas. seriously, how many black-haired women since her have to some degree carved themselves in her image? if you said "seven," aim higher.

nowadays, it seems like black-haired babes aren't doing enough to prop up the breed. sure portland, oregon's suicide girls have been around for a while now & their first book is adorned with a girl with jet-black hair, a girl who also became the logo of the site for a while. mmm. mary. rose mcgowan gave it a shot for a while but she doesn't even have black hair any more & other than that, for black-haired babes, we're now left with katy perry's faux or not faux lesbianism & vanessa hudgens' high school musical camera phone nudity (NSFW). zooey deschanel & robin tunney have tried their best, but they can only do so much. maybe i'm missing somebody besides them (does bjork still have black hair?) but they aren't coming to mind at the moment.

speaking of black hair, there's been a slight to-do in recent months over the fact that kristen stewart (one of the stars of the tweentabulous twilight movies) has died her hair jet-black to play joan jett in an upcoming movie about 70's band the runaways. scout taylor compton as lita ford! not black hair. anyway, i guess kristen stewart's hair didn't used to be that black, so TMZ has to report on that. i refuse to make a judgment on the positive aspects of such a hair color, as she just turned 18 back in april & that'd be creepy. as for her playing joan jett, the more young girls that discover joan jett the better. go jett-black hair.

...so all i'm saying is that it's going to be winter soon & i'm pretty sure cosmo recommends winter as a perfect time to dye your hair black, ladies. a lot of us think the black hair is sexy. i'm not saying that you have to venture into goth or cure/smiths territory, but i'll definitely notice you. maybe you're a bit apprehensive about making such a drastic change to your hair color. that's understandable. would it change your mind if i told you that madonna once had black hair? no? what if i told you she just dyed her hair black back tonight at the hotel suite after the copenhagen show?...that's what i thought. black is the new black.

#117 - sexy black-haired mamas.
snack: route 11 mama zuma's habanero chips
drink: lagunitas lucky 13 ale



in the spirit of spiciness, the other night, i had a bag of route 11 mama zuma's habanero chips. i picked them up last weekend on a late night park slope stop off at reis 100, the sandwich shop that just opened up next door to 5th ave's bar reis. the place features a hundred crazy tiny sandwiches, including one with honey, brie & apple, one with white anchovy, pickled carrot & daikon, spicy mayo & cilantro and another with bahn mi tofu, pickled carrot & jalapeno & cilantro. they're tiny but perfect for munching on while you get drunk with other park slopers on the back patio at bar reis. so...the chips. they have a bunch of gourmet-type chips hanging on the wall next to the counter at reis 100, so i grabbed a bag of these for later.

while i was waiting for my sandwiches, a man who at first appeared to be completely normal entered & walked up to the wall of chips. after a few minutes of staring at the chips & occasionally touching them, the dude left empty-handed. two minutes later he was back at the front door, staring in at the wall of chips. after a minute or so of that, he came back in, walked up to the counter & asked the girl working, "how much are the chips?" after she told him that they're $1.50, he surveyed the wall for another minute or so, grabbed a bag, plunked down his cash & left. i suppose you had to be there, but it was seriously the most dramatic chip-buying scenario i've ever witnessed. i'd hate to be with that dude when he's buying a home appliance.

so...the chips. holy crap they're hot. they're so hot & covered with habanero & other spices that after only two chips, with the saliva buildup in my mouth, i was able to faithfully recreate the sounds of a well-bubbling bong. speaking of sounds, route 11 potato chips are so damn hip that they have their own jingle. it's a rocking lil rockabillyesque number about "riding down the road to potato chip heaven" with a bag of route elevens. it gave me the power to make it through this bag of route elevens, but true to her name, mama zuma definitely got her revenge the next morn.

since the chips were so damn hot, accompanying fluids were an absolute necessity. i paired the chips with a 22 oz bottle of lagunitas lucky 13 ale with its black-haired mama on the front & although it helped, i eventually had to bring in a glass of water as well. it provided some additional relief, but nothing short of a fire extinguisher would've subdued mama zuma's habanero flames. i'd picked up the lagunitas from bierkraft a few days back & while there, i discovered that last tuesday, the folks from lagunitas were in town from cali doing a beer tasting there. i've been to the store on past tuesdays & from what i've discerned, females go to these tastings, so i totally missed out on an attempt to meet my future wife. i could've been all, "yeah, i blogged about lagunitas just the other day. i'm a blogger. [pause] i know. it's sexy."

so...the beer. it's a "mondo large red ale," with a copper look, a pleasant, almost sweet smell & a very full flavor, which in this case means it's pretty damn hoppy...definitely not a beer for those who can't handle the hops. lucky (13) for me, with this snack-drink pairing, the hops definitely helped aid in the battle against the habanero fury. i figure it's good practice since from what i gather, black-haired mamas are just as feisty as red-haired mamas. either way, i'm now prepared for fury, even if it means habanero & hops breath.