pumpktoberfest #28 - jolly.

film: santa's slay
beer: jolly pumpkin la parcela no 1 pumpkin ale

are you ready for more pumpktoberfest? you better be, cause it's coming at you fast & furious, this time with a heaping helping of holiday horror in the form of the kinda-hilarious 2005 film santa's slay. former professional wrestler bill goldberg plays santa claus with a twist--he's actually a child of satan who's decided to "spread some christmas fear" during the holiday season. it turns out that back in the day, christmas was the time of year when santa would wreak havoc on the world. then, a thousand years ago an angel challenged him to a game of curling that he lost. as a result, he had to be nice for the next thousand years. OBVIOUSLY. 2005 is when that agreement finally came to an end.

the film opens with a family made up of james caan, chris kattan, fran drescher, rebecca gayheart & the sorell twins sitting around a table eating christmas dinner. their holiday cheer comes to a screeching halt when santa comes crashing down the chimney & proceeds to kill all of them lickedy split. he leaves there & runs a woman off the road with his "hell-deer"-driven sleigh on his way to the local strip joint. of course, when he arrives, he kills everyone in sight except for the town pastor, played by dave thomas, who manages to escape. from there, he continues on a murderous romp. the best part about it? the majority of the murders are holiday-themed! he strangles a guy with a wreath, burns down the strip club with flaming coals & impales people on candy canes & menorahs!

while all this is going on, we're introduced to nicholas yuleson (played by douglas smith, the son in big love), his grandfather (played by robert culp) & his girlfriend mary (played by emilie de ravin, claire from LOST). grandpa hates christmas & when nicholas asks him why, he shows him a book that tells the story of santa claus & clues him into why santa's killing everyone in town. he also figures that santa will lose his powers once christmas is over but that's not for hours & eventually santa comes for him, grandpa & mary. when he does, they manage to elude him for some time before they're ultimately forced to stop running & face evil santa once & for all. final showdown!

it's a wildly entertaining film. since goldberg's a former professional wrestler, as santa he's an imposing force & when he's killing people & tossing off puntastic one-liners, it's pretty hilarious. i mean, dude's got a belt buckle that's shaped like an evil santa face. all told, with the help of his hell-deer, he kills 35 people, so there's plenty of hilarity to go around. it's not really scary at all, unless you're claustrophobic hagiophobic, in which case it's probably pretty friggin terrifying. storywise, it's teetering awfully close to the edge of b-movie status, but if you're watching a film about a murderous santa claus, what do you expect, really?

since santa's usually a jolly individual, i picked up a bottle of jolly pumpkin la parcela no 1 pumpkin ale to drink whilst watching santa's slay. jolly pumpkin artisan ales is a company based in dexter, michigan, a village of a few thousand people in the southern part of the state. they make beers that come in 750ml bottles, are typically unflitered & unpasturized and are aged in oak casks, a process that gives them quite complex flavors. their oro de calabaza & bam bière have both won medals at the great american beer festival, with the former taking home the gold in 2004 in the category of belgian- & french- style ales. as for the pumpkin ale, it's a belgian-style fruit beer that made its first appearance this year. as the label says, "ok, so the joke was jolly pumpkin doesn't brew a pumpkin beer. well now we do. this one...guess now folks will have to find something else to joke about..." i suggest the results of next tuesday's elections.

since their beers are usually damn expensive (i found this particular bottle for $12.95 at new beer distributors but saw it for over $20 at bierkraft), this is the first one i've tried. safe to say, they really don't fuck around when it comes to making unique, tasty beers. the pumpkin ale pours with a dark orange complexion & a nice head that traps the yummy flavor in. it's flavored with pumpkin, cacao & spices, a combo that manages to be both sweet & sour at the same time. the best way i can describe it is that it has the mouthfeel of a sour beer with a sweet flavor where there should be a sour one. the pumpkin flavor's dominated by the fruitiness of the beer, but it's still there, as are the notes of spices & cacao. it's definitely a complex makeup & it's definitely the most unique pumpkin beer i've ever had. would i have it again? certainly. would i pay for it again? probably not. still, it's a top tier pumpkin beer & if you can find one, you should get it. be jolly, for christ's sake.