#151 - seven years of bad luck.

when i awoke yesterday morning, i awoke with the overwhelming feeling that something about the day was different. was it the ides of march? nope. that happened back on the fifteenth. national chocolate covered raisins day? nope. that's not until next wednesday. what was it? as i went through my usual morning routine, stepping out of the shower & into my "i'm hung like saddam" boxers, it finally hit me...it was the seventh anniversary of us invading iraq! i'm a sucker for anniversaries & the nostalgia that comes with them, so i decided to take a look back at all the good times we've had in iraq over the last seven years.

the occupation of iraq the iraq war operation iraqi freedom began at 5:34am baghdad time, which meant that back here in the u.s. it was 9:34pm...prime time, baby! for me, it began during a time in my life where i was unemployed & suffering from serious bouts of insomnia, a condition which played perfectly into the hands of the 24-hour cable news coverage of the invasion. most days during the initial stages of the invasion, i dozed off just as the sun was coming up, with visions of anderson cooper & computer-generated tanks & explosions in the night sky of bagdhad swimming in my skull. it drove me slightly insane. luckily, i've had seven years to recover.

ever since first coming across the "shock & awe" campaign of the early invasion, we've been treated to a handful of memorable moments. remember that awesome MISSION ACCOMPLISHED banner? how can we forget the day when we found a raggedy, bearded-up saddam hussein hiding in a hole in the ground? it was almost as noteworthy as the day when we discovered that there weren't actually any WMDs & that that whole rationale for war was basically a lie. how about when the infamous abu ghraib photos came out? when i first saw them, i was all "oh snap. that's not good. the terrorists are really going to hate us now."

just think of all the colorful characters we've met along the way...chemical ali, ahmed chalabi, muqtada al-sadr, nouri al-maliki, that dude who threw his shoe at G.W. we're richer for knowing them. seven years, countless bombings and some 4,400 american & 100,000 iraqi deaths later, i think we can safely say that it's been one heck of a war. all things must one day come to an end though & according to the president, we're going to pull out 50,000 of our 100,000 troops by the end of august, so it looks like this'll be the last year that i'm able to commemorate the invasion of iraq with a full force of u.s. troops in the country. i guess that march 20th will never be the same.

snack: trucco dried figs
drink: razzleberry peace tea

in celebration of our seven years of bad luck in iraq, last night i decided to go with a regional snack--dried figs. iraq produces its fair share of figs, but these particular dried figs are imported from turkey, iraq's neighbor to the north & the world's largest producer of figs. they're imported by trucco, a bronx-based importer that's been around since 1937, the same year that saddam hussein was born. that's a long time ago, so they must be doing something right. i mean, just look at the two dudes who run trucco. they're adorable! don't you feel the irresistible urge to buy clementines & roasted chestnuts from them? i know i do.

i've gotta be honest. most of the time the figs i've eaten have been in newton form. these dried ones aren't in newton form, but they're still aight. they're filled with seeds & fig goo, which are both naturally sweet & yummy, and they're sort of like raisins on steroids. as a bonus, they're high in calcium & fiber, which led me to think up a possible fig tagline: "figs: stronger bones. stronger poo. stronger you." secondary fig tagline: "figs. their leaves helped adam & eve hide their shame." rejected fig tagline: "figs. so yummy, you'll be like 'is this a fig-ment of my imagination?'"

since the iraq war began as a way to maintain peace in the middle east, i'm having a tall, cool 23 oz can of razzleberry peace tea along with my dried figs. please note that although i've provided a link to their website, i don't suggest that you actually visit their website. it takes forever to load & when it does, it loads a background sound that's anything but peaceful. it's like a mixture of waves crashing, crowd noise & transformer-like robot sounds. AWFUL. for me, the "sound off" button didn't work, so i was forced to mute my computer to avoid the site's intense aural assault on my soul. i guess that since peace tea's only been available since late december of 09, they're still working out some of the kinks.

at least they have their mission statement locked down. it's peppered with gems like "peace tea is a product with a purpose. a product to believe in. peace tea is peace, love and understanding. peace tea is love over gold." the can backs up this mission with phrases like "don't tread on me" & "we must think for ourselves" printed on it. on a related note, it's made by the same folks that make monster energy drinks (hansen natural corp) & from what i can tell, it's distributed by coca-cola. based on those two companies, it's OBVIOUS that they don't care about money in the least bit...just love.

it's definitely on the sweet side. you might think that sweetness is because of all the razzleberries, but the razzleberry isn't even part of the ingredients. it turns out that the sweetness is because of the potent, half-artificial one-two punch of sugar & sucralose. in fact, i looked into it & the razzleberry is as real as the yumberry. anyway, it's a three serving can & i was done about half way in. it's like snapple x 10. it's like nestea x 2. it's basically a sugar explosion complimented with some tea flavor & to say "it's a bit much" would be quite the understatement. if this iced tea is their idea of peace, i'll take war.