#170 - salsa slammed.

in case i haven't made it apparent, i'm cool with the folks over at nachosny. they wrote a guest post for me last summer & i cooked "questionable" nachos in their honor last september. this year, after attending may's guactacular, i started writing a nacho snack guest column entitled "a queso the munchies" for them. back in july, i ate guacamole & listened to indie rock with 200 other people on a boat on the hudson as part of their "guac rock" event. when lee (the mastermind behind nachosny) tipped me off to their next event, a salsa battle dubbed the "salsa slam," it's safe to say that i was pretty friggin excited. then he asked me if i'd like to be one of the event's esteemed judges. i was all "hellz yeah. i love judging both salsa AND people!" the best part? explaining to people that i was going to be judging a food competition, NOT a dance competition.

a month later (9/12 to be exact) the salsa slam was upon us, so i met up with jessica (pictured above) who has all the sudden become famous/infamous on my blog. i guess it's because i "hang out" & eat good food with her a bunch. yay foodie friendship or something. anyway, the slam took place on a lazy, drizzly, dog-dangling sunday afternoon, so we sort of slacked & showed up at bell house just after it got under way. lucky for us, the atmosphere was much more relaxed than at the guactacular, which sold out & featured lines of peeps going apeshit for guac. by contrast, the salsa slam was chill & for the most part, you could just get a plate of tortilla chips (from 5 burro cafe) & stroll from table to table, grabbing a few sample cups of salsa from the competitors & eating them at your leisure. as an OFFICIAL JUDGE, being able to relax & really take in the salsas was key.

snack: seventeen different salsas on tortilla chips from 5 burro cafe
drink: boddington's pub ale

we began with the "guacachile," a "salsa" that claimed to "bark like a chihuahua & gore like a bull." it contained no avocados but totally looked like guac, so i had difficulty calling it a salsa. next up was the "punch you in your face" salsa, a mangoey salsa by a cute girl with an arm tattoo. it eventually landed in my top three. i'm a fruity salsa guy & between that one and the next one, a watermelon-tomato-mint concoction, things started off on the right foot. the "kamikaze" followed them & while i enjoyed the wasabi & ginger touches, i wasn't entirely feeling it. i was feeling the next one though, another mango salsa that featured a pineapple garnish & won the hearts of the people, coming in second in the people's vote. it also finished in my top three. however, after the initial fruitiness of the first group i tried, the next one, the "tomato cocktail," didn't really tickle my fancy. it contained four types of tomatoes, which was cool, but i was in the mood for unique salsas.

we moved on to the next batch, starting with a salsa verde with bell pepper made by marcia, the cute, bespectacled girl who won the people's vote at guactacular. while it was tasty, traditional & unique for the room, it wasn't all that mindblowing. i'm a sucker for gimmicks though, so i doted over the next one, the memetastic "double rainbow." it was made with bacon, pineapple, tomatoes & bacon hot sauce, giving it a taste akin to hawaiian pizza. it got my top vote. collectively, the judges gave the top vote to the next salsa, an authentic, cali style one called "tia arkie's chile." it was definitely worthy of the top prize, but like i said, i was going for unique. by unique i don't mean "wearing a wrestling mask," a trait of the next competitor, whose "that heat" salsa wasn't as flashy as his getup. while he hid behind a mask, the subsequent salsa maker showed that there was also more to him than met the eye, with his "not as sweet as i look" salsa, featuring jersey peaches, hot & sweet peppers & a host of other stuff.

from that point on, the salsas definitely took a turn for the weird, as we sampled a carrot salsa made with carrots & bell peppers. by definition it was a salsa but i couldn't in good conscience give it my vote, despite the fact that it was rather tasty. next to it was the "sinful salsa," whose secret ingredient was pomegranate molasses. meh. at the table located directly across from the man with the mexican wrestling mask was a salsa with a wrestling-themed name, the "cinnamon suplex." despite its name, it...um...didn't manage to pin me to the mat & get a three count. the people stood up & gave the next salsa, a roasted corn and tomatillo salsa called the "zapo" the people's award. i enjoyed it but the yellow color kinda skeeved me out. the final two salsas were the "wabanero," a somewhat yummy habanero & watermelon concoction made from ingredients grown in some rooftop garden & "crazy elaine's curry salsa," another yellow addition to the salsa mix. i'm a huge fan of curry though, so it scored a few points with me.

the night closed out with a rousing performance by mariachi real de mexico & just as they hit the stage we picked up our final few salsas & i went up to the bar to grab a can of boddington's pub ale before we retreated to one of the tables. i've loved boddington's ever since my dad introduced me to it in my early days of legal beer drinking. basically, i felt that the guinness can, with its carbonation system, was the greatest invention on earth & when i discovered that there was another beer that utilized the same technology, i fell for it. other than the carbonation system & the resulting head, it's basically the antithesis of a guinness, as it's a light beer with a bitter aftertaste. for jessica, who's only become a fledging beer connoisseur over the past year or so, it was light enough but a little too bitter. for me, it was just as smooth as i've always remembered it being.

by the end of the salsa slam, i'd downed at least a jar & a half of salsa & had a great time. as a food blogger, it's pretty inspiring seeing a few hundred people gathered together in a room drinking & enjoying good food & being awesome. some day soon, i hope to engender the same sort of love. can you say eat!drink!snack! part-ays in 2011? of course you can. you're intelligent. you read this blog, after all. anyway, metromix & village voice both have galleries of the proceedings, but i'm going to steer you towards the metromix one, as its descriptions were much more helpful for me in rehashing all the thoughts i lost when my ipod erased my meticulous notes. either way, you'll get a glimpse at bunch of mostly-tasty salsas & mostly-hip salsa lovers...good times fo sho.