#180 - i call bullshit.

sometimes i want to thwack the food writing community in their collective nads. as i've mentioned in the past, during the course of the day i read a ton of food blogs & news & whatnot. most of the time, reading about food trends & restaurant openings and looking at pictures of burgers & pizzas & fast food concoctions brings me joy. lately though, the constant reverb of motifs has been getting real old real fast. it's like i'm in a friggin echo chamber. case in point: over the months leading up to the new year & in the weeks since then, folks have been repeatedly referring to 2011 as "the year of the pie." blog after blog after blah blah blah is all "suck it, cupcakes. your day is over. bring on the pie." i'm no proponent of cupcakes or anything but i'm not yet ready to dub this the "year of the pie," no matter how many times food bloggers regurgitate the phrase.

instead of repeating what the rest of the blogosphere's saying, i've come up with a few OTHER possibilities for what 2011 could very well turn out to be. if you're a blogger & want to embrace one of these & use it to create another "year of the blah blah blah" echo-chamber, go for it:

the year of the rabbit - according to the chinese zodiac, february 3rd will mark a new year, the year of the rabbit. in honor of this occasion & in deference to our soon-to-be chinese overlords, i say we make 2011 the year of the rabbit by turning rabbit into an unavoidable part of our food culture. every morning, you get the ball rolling with a big ol bowl of trix for breakfast, possibly with a side of rabbit bacon, an item that i don't think exists but probably should starting this year. hollywood tv show chef types can get creative & come up with rabbit dishes, junk like afghani-style rabbit hot dogs & thai rabbit sliders. the chinese might not like it but chefs could totally dub the latter dish "buddha's bunny burgers," cause that's belly-rubbingly cute. vegans can join in on the rabbit excitement too by eating rabbit pellets or something.

the year of the roll-your-own sushi joint - my extensive tv-viewing schedule just continues to grow. i recently added showtime's new comedy, episodes, to the mix. it stars matt leblanc as an overdone version of himself. they're three episodes into the first season & in the second episode, leblanc, who happens to be opening a restaurant, asks two other characters "how do you feel about a restaurant where you roll your own sushi?" they both give the idea a quick thumbs down but i'm not as quick to toss the concept aside. we're in a time where foodies are obsessed with connecting with their food. in this case, they could actually TOUCH it at multiple times during the meal! personally, i make sushi at least once a week & the only shitty part is the prep work. i'd probably go to a roll-your-own joint where i got to choose from a million ingredients & not have to do any prep. so, um...let's make it happen, blogosphere.

the year of the depend adult undergarment (Y.D.A.U.) - it's been a little while since i read david foster wallace's hefty novel, infinite jest, so i don't remember everything that happened in it but i do remember that in the story, each year is subsidized by a corporation. according to some theories, 2011 is the year of the depend adult undergarment (Y.D.A.U.), the year that most of the book takes place in. in the spirit of this, i say that in 2011 we embrace all things corporate. you usually get your cup of morning coffee from the local, fair-trade joint in your hood? fuck that. go to the mccafe from now on. you're vegan? from now on, you do all of your food shopping at 7-eleven, home of vegan cuisine. in 2011, give all your hard-earned cash to the most powerful brands. they deserve it. all hail budweiser & frito lay & pepsico/coca-cola & pilgrim's pride & kraft & miller & yum! brands & dominos. it's Y.D.A.U. & it's time to embrace our roles as corporate slaves. subsidized time, bitches!

don't those sound like trends you can easily get behind? i know, right? well, here's to my "the year of" predictions coming true & me being all nostradamus up in this piece. as for the "year of the pie," i call bullshit.

snack: venchi pure extra dark chocolate bar
drink: wolaver's alta gracia coffee porter

ok. now that i got that out of my system, i feel a thousand times better. last night, as i thought about 2011 & all the food-blog-induced anger that might come with it, i assembled my first snack-drink pairing of the year, one that made me quite optimistic about the year to come. for my snack i had half of a venchi pure extra dark chocolate bar that my sister got me as part of a xmas gift pack of chocolate bars from around the world. this one's imported all the way from italy! that country's far across the atlantic & shaped like a boot & full of mobsters & stuff! venchi's been making chocolate since 1878, so i guess they must be doing something right.

side note: here's how you know it's 2011 at eat!drink!snack!...in 2010, most of the time you'd only get one photo per post. in 2011, you're getting at least TWO photos per post. that's a 200% increase or something! GUARANTEED!



while we're on the topic of percentages, let me note that this particular chocolate bar is 75% cocoa. it's made with all-natural ingredients--cocoa powder, cocoa butter, cocoa mass, sugar, soya lecithin & natural vanilla flavor. when i bit into it, the first thing i noticed was the texture. while it's firm, it has a slight softness to it. basically, while biting into a hershey bar is a slightly oily experience, biting into a venchi bar is a fresh, clean experience, with a flavor that's chocolatey & rich & has a minimal amount of bitterness. gratzi, venchi!

since the flavors of chocolate & coffee go quite well together, i paired my italian chocolate bar with a bottle of wolaver's alta gracia coffee porter, an organic beer made by vermont's otter creek brewing co. basically, wolaver's is the "organic beer" arm of otter creek brewing & this one's TOTALLY organic. the coffee beans are grown at cafe alta gracia, a farm in the dominican republic that's all about sustainability. the beans are imported & roasted by vermont coffee co., who are also located in middlebiry, just down the street from otter creek brewing. it's like one big organic hippie vermont lovefest up there.

it's an exceptionally yummy beer. it's a dark pour & as the name implies, there's coffee in it. they also add in chocolate malts & vanilla beans, a combo that gives it a deliciously burnt & sweet flavor. in the past, i've used it to make beer floats & on this particular occasion, i dropped a piece of the venchi bar into the second half of the glass. all that really happened was that i got a wet piece of chocolate at the end, but whatevs. anyway, for those of you who don't generally go for dark beers, this might be worth giving a shot. it's not as thick as your typical porter & it's got a great flavor. plus, you can feel good about where your money's going or something. of course, if you're choosing to embrace the Y.D.A.U., this definitely isn't the beer for you. it might go good with rabbit though.