nosh nook #206 - tuesday, april 17, 2012

photo via amra energy snx website

caffeinated potato chips aim to boost snack time (link)
04.17.12 - cbs news - by michelle castillo

one day, when our great civilization has reached the nadir of absolute awesomeness, each & every snack on god's green earth will be injected with a hearty dose of caffeine. just think about it! when the time finally comes, we'll never again have to worry about "can i stay up long enough to catch tonight's exciting episode of last call with carson daly?" the answer will always be "yes," as you'll have milligrams upon milligrams of caffeine coursing through your veins. you won't EVER be able to sleep & you sure as hell won't be missing any more carson daly. all of your dreams will finally come true & by "dreams" i mean metaphorical dreams. you'll never again have REM dreams. no sirree.

luckily, snack technologists have already got the ball rolling with the whole "all caffeine all the time" thang. there's jerky with caffeine in it. there's caffeinated popcorn. if eating actual food isn't your thing, there's even a way to spray caffeine directly into your mouth. now, as cbs news reports, a TOTALLY FORWARD THINKING company called "arma energy snx" has come out with kettle cooked BBQ chips & four snack mixes that are "packed with the same caffeine that coffee and energy drinks provide." no they don't have to spell out "snacks," jerk. also, to make certain you know just how AMP'D their snacks are, they've given them names like "F-BOMB" & "HELLFIRE." SO edgy.

the key to their snacks is a mixture of vitamin B, caffeine & taurine that offers up about 70mg of caffeine per serving, which is "about the same amount (as) in an espresso shot." nutritionist jo ann hattner, a nutrition consultant at stanford, told cbs affiliate WFOR that 70mg "isn't that much of a energy jolt." of course it isn't...that's why you're supposed to eat them to excess. duh, scientist. on a related note, maybe cbs news' michelle castillo needs to get her hands on some of these chips. she wasn't even awake enough to notice that she used the word "expresso" & "it's" when she should have used "its."