#197 - the end of the world as we know it.

way way back round the end of march, i received a film in the mail via netflix--the 2011 indie film bellflower. i discovered it after reading roger ebert's review & learning of its nomination for an independent spirit award and a full seventy-seven days after its arrival in my home, that same film is still here, preventing all the other films in my queue from coming my way. sorry, cedar rapids. i'll get to you soon! usually, when i hold onto a film for such a ridiculous amount of time, it's because i'm too busy to set aside two hours or because i'm a lazy ass & can't be bothered to press the "eject" button on my dvd player & watch it. in this case, other than the laziness, it's a whole other thing...

you see, i sort of became obsessed with the film for a lil bit...but i was lazy about writing about it & wanted to have it on hand for when that day finally came. in the interim, i've watched it at least a half-dozen times.

it's the story of two friends in california who worship at the altar of mad max & that film's character lord humongous. as such, they're building a flamethrower & a flamethrowing muscle car in preparation for the apocalypse. there's also a love story. i know, right?!!! what could be better than that? it's got a unique look & acting that's been inaccurately described as "mumblecore" & a soundtrack featuring tunes by why?, ratatat & santigold. the film's written & directed by some dude named evan glodell who, in creating the film, actually built a functional flamethrower & a flamethrowing muscle car named "medusa." he also developed a custom camera that, when combined with cinematographer joel hodge's style, results in a look that's tailor made for the apocalypse.

at the film's opening, woodrow (glodell) & aiden (tyler dawson), hang out in the desert for a bit shooting at gas tanks, hunter s thompson style, just to see what happens. then they head off to a bar where woodrow faces off against a girl named milly (jessie wiseman) in a cricket-eating contest. from there woodrow & milly fall in love & the next day drive off to texas in a car with a whiskey dispenser built into the dashboard all to visit some diner that woodrow knows there. while they're off gallivanting in the lonestar state, aiden strikes up a friendship with one of milly's friends--courtney (rebekah brandes)--arriving at the door for her bday party holding a fruitcake & using the smooth line--"i figured if i got you a fruitcake for your birthday i could get you a real present for xmas when we know each other well."

as the film progresses, aiden continues to build the flamethrower & muscle car while woodrow & milly's relationship goes to shit. basically, woodrow's the perfect storm of clingy & clueless & whiny and by the time their love finally goes completely sour, shit gets kinda crazy for everyone. it's disturbingly awesometastic. i won't go into any detail but i will say this...the last line in the film is "lord humongous doesn't get cheated on by some stupid bitch. he doesn't leave the game when he falls in love. lord humongous dominates his women & they fucking love him for it."

anyway, you should probably check it out. keep in mind that i count gummo amongst my favorite films & the only movie i ever made had more shots of roadside scenery from a car window than a vincent gallo flick...so take that for what it is, folks. watch it though! it's TOTALLY APOCALYPTIC!

snack: doritos jacked enchilada supreme
drink: clown shoes supa hero

when the world finally does come to a fiery end & i'm off wandering the wasteland, i'm going to make sure that i've got the most EXTREME snacks ever stuffed in my bindle. that's why, when i watched bellflower for the first time, i had a bag of doritos jacked enchilada supreme chips right by my side. along with their other "jacked" flavor--smoky chipotle BBQ--doritos has blessed the world with a chip that's bigger, thicker & supposedly adorned with more flavor than your average dorito. as a bonus, when you eat them, you also develop a muscular physique that would leave jean-claude van damme circa bloodsport shaking in his military boots.

ok...that last part isn't true. to be straight, the only thing they'll add to your physique is a sweet layer of fat. since i don't care about that, let's concentrate on the benefits of a "jacked" dorito. are they thicker? sure. are they bigger? sort of. are they more flavorful? i guess so. while there's obviously a cheesy flavor to them, they also have a slight sour cream taste to them. i guess this what constitutes the "enchilada." i like them & all, but compared to your average, everyday dorito, they're pretty much the same damn thing. in this case, "jacked" don't mean jack.

despite what tina turner says, we kinda do need another hero. how about a caped hero named "captain m" who flies around fulfilling his role as "the protecta of bee-ah?"...sounds like a wicked pissah of an important hero to me. said hero is the mascot for clown shoes supa hero, an IPA put out by ipswich, MA's clown shoes brewery. they put out around a dozen flavorful beers in 22 oz bottles, beers with clever names like "tramp stamp" & "muffin top" and over the past year, their beers have begun showing up in nyc with increasing frequency.

in the same way that i've revisited bellflower over & over again during the past few months, i've had myself the supa hero a bunch of times. it's an amber, 8.0% ABV brew with a taste that's highly-hopped but not so much that it'd turn off your average beer drinker. it's got piney notes to it & a slight maltiness that, all together, make for a quality IPA. sure it's nothing revolutionary, but i'll definitely be filling many more of my evenings with the supa hero. maybe if i drink enough of them, i will one day achieve my lifelong dream of flight. test results to follow!