#88 - (rice dream).

they love me like I was a brother. they protect me, listen to me. they dug me my very own garden, gave me sunshine, made me happy. rice dream. rice dream. rice dream.   - radiohead

growing up in new hampshire, i followed all four major sports religiously (go statistics!) and my favorite teams were the hometown celts (basketball), bruins (hockey) and red sox (baseball) & the san fran 49ers (football)...nobody liked the patriots back then. they were awful...although...mosi tatupu! two of my favorite athletes growing up were hall of fame red sox outfielder jim rice (second only to dewey) & 49er wide receiver jerry rice, quite possibly the greatest receiver in nfl history...and classy. jim rice was sort of an ass to reporters, but compared to nowadays, it reminds me of a quaint time when professional athletes didn't kill people & have tragic breakdowns.

when i moved to nyc back in 01, within a few months, i randomly ran into a high school friend who i had dated for two weeks back in high school before i knew a damn thing about girls. we decided to meet up soon after at rice restaurant for dinner, but in the end, ended up somewhere else. then we hung out a few times after that, randomly ran into each other again at penn station taking the LIRR in from brooklyn during the 2005 MTA strike...

flash forward to 2007...i'd never managed to make it to any of the rice locales in the city, but i started working in d.u.m.b.o. and there's a rice restaurant there, so i finally tried it out. although it's a bit pricey for the portion, the veggie meatballs with black rice are friggin amazing. if i ever go crazy & become a serial killer & end up on death row, that might be my last meal...as long as i can get two orders worth.

present day...the rice name holds faded sway in american society. there's condoleezza "double z" rice, who after becoming the first black secretary of state, presided under the 2nd half of one of the worst periods of foreign relations in american history. there's anne rice, who after becoming a huge favorite with her vampire chronicles, decided to only write for jesus & left the ravaged new orleans that had been her home & inspiration for many years. then there's damien rice. he's always been pretty lame, but has some sway in ireland & some other countries.

#88 - (rice dream).
snack: riceworks wasabi gourmet brown rice crisps
drink: beer lao lager


in honor of rice, i picked up a bag of riceworks wasabi gourmet brown rice crisps.  on the front, they promise "a mouth journey." who doesn't want a mouth journey?  they're all vegan/celiac/gluten-friendly & made with brown rice, which makes them all thick & crunchy. since i'm the type of guy who fills his soy sauce with wasabi & sucks down wasabi peas like they're made up of the meaning of life, i found the flavor to be quite awesome.  it stands out nicely, but there's a prominent brown rice flavor as well, which is solid.

also, if you have some free time, you should check out the totally un-catholic guilt-o-meter on their website.  holy crap it is hilariously good fun.  it's amazing what you can do with the internet.  plus, who doesn't love a little guilt?  fun?  guilty as charged!

since the wasabi chips are spicetastic, i decided to crack open the can of beer lao lager to ease the pain. unfortunately, the can had other plans. when i pulled at the tab, it bent limply without piercing the can. i tried twisting it a bit & eventually, it just snapped off, leaving me with the smiley face pictured below. mr smiley & i had a nice joint chuckle over the scenario in the echo of my empty kitchen. then i grabbed a butter knife, stabbed at that can with authority & drained its foaminess into a glass, pseudo-shotgun style.


it's a beer from laos brewed with jasmine rice & basically, it's a light beer, more like a pilsner than a lager. it reminds me of singha, which is basically a slightly better budweiser, which is basically a slightly better water. it comes from a brewery started by the french & is apparently the national beer of laos.  there's this npr story about their brewmaster, sivilay lasachack, who wants to make it global...just like budweiser. they're now owned by carlsberg (whose website puts the words "probably the best website in the world" in your title bar), so the chances of that happening have significantly increased. good luck, sivilay!  keep reaching for that dollar!

#87 - man things.

after a long but lovely friday, i woke up on saturday morning with a lighter hangover than expected & the first relatively obligation-free schedule in some time. to start off my day, i sat down with a glass of iced coffee & a bagel and finally got around to watching the first episode of the first season of fx network's rescue me. i'm still on the fence about denis leary in general, but from what i got from the first episode, i've got some good, manly TV watching ahead of me.  it's also set fairly soon after 9/11, so there's that whole aspect.  i know it screwed things up for a lot of people here in the city, especially the ground zero & rescue workers (a group that now includes a number of people who have developed respiratory problems or mental issues because of what they went through on that day), so seeing how they handle that intrigues me.

eventually, i had to leave my house & head into manhattan for a 3pm meeting with a co-worker whose blog i'm helping him set up (go squarespace blogger platform!). we met up at a bar in murray hill appropriately called "the hill," which is not to be confused with that stupid mtv show. we chose the place for its combo of wifi & flat screen tvs, necessary for nfl draft watching. to be clear, re: flatscreens, i was not the one interested in which offensive tackle would go first, but i'm now aware that the OT who fit that description was a guy named jason smith & the rams took him with the #2 pick. while we were about a beer into our power meeting, a group of ny cares people, fresh from the annual "hands on ny day," converged on the bar & i was reminded how last year, that was me. this year, i'm a heartless non-philanthropist.

as we wrapped up our power meeting, it dawned on me that i was around the corner from my newly-reunited via facebook college friend's midtown apartment. since it was a beautiful weekend day, i assumed that he'd be holding court in the outdoor seating at the bar at the base of his apartment...& i was correct, so when the power meeting was done, i went & hung with him & a few of his friends for an hour or so. as a result, i discovered that he & his three friends agree that it's always sunny & philadelphia (another fx show) is basically a gift from god.  mission accomplished.

while there, another friend had sent me a message letting me know that he & his girlfriend were in prospect park with a third dude.  he suggested that i come by. after the previous 24 hours, i was feeling all social for once & we still had a few hours of sunlight left & i enjoy looking at the lovely ladies in the park, so when i was done with my outdoor patio drinking, i headed back to brooklyn & prospect park to join my park-going pals. we hung out & admired the scenery for a little bit before the aforementioned girlfriend headed back home to rest up for a sunday morn bridal shower & the rest of us headed back to my apartment to chill out with a few beers & what have you.

my roommate was hanging out at the apartment for the evening & as that made four of us dudes hanging out & drinking beers, eventually the inevitable happened--a late night, drunken game of risk.  usually, my approach is to control australia early & sweep out across the globe from the southwest hemisphere.  this time, i got cocky & decided to switch it up by coming out of japan & slowly controlling asia.  i got up to kamchatka easily enough & even made my way across the bering strait into alaska before being repelled back into asia by sarah palin & her helicopter wolf hunting skills.  after that, my strategy, much like her 08' ticket, went down the tubes super quickly.  eventually, i was the first one eliminated.

#87 - man things.
snack: good health natural foods chilean lime avocado potato chips
drink: troegs sunshine pils


as i accepted my fate as a risk spectator & saturday became sunday, i ran to the store & grabbed a snack & another beer to ease the pain.  when i returned to the apartment, i broke open the bag of good health natural foods chilean lime avocado potato chips & watched as the remaining three battled it out for control of the globe.  as a rule, potato chips are a pretty manly snack, but when they're cooked in avocado oil & sprinkled with chilean lime, i think that skews toward metrosexual manly.  let me check...according to my manual, those two ingredients put it in the 95th percentile of metrosexuality...so there you have it.

the chips are pretty darn good.  as the back of the bag explains, avocado oil does some sort of junk with cholesterol that's good for you when you cook chips in it.  as it is, avocados are the bomb-diggity tastewise & there's a very subtle bit of that in the chips. as for the lime, it's mixed in with a bunch of other stuff but gives the chips a hint of additional flavor.  by the time the risk game wrapped up, i had made a serious dent in the bag...& finally finished them off tonight.

i cracked open the troegs sunshine pils (from a company out of central pa) to accompany the chips.  at this point, it had already been a joyful, solid weekend & although i'm not much of a pill person myself, i figured that a little bit of the "sunshine pills" could only be helpful.  it's nothing all that mind-blowing, especially after a couple of earlier beers, but it lives up to its name with a sunny, light, pilsner taste...no increased sense of euphoria though...although by the time 2am rolled around & i headed to bed with the windows wide open & the air flowing through, i did have a peaceful sleep & some crazy-ass dreams.  thanks for capping off the night, mr. sunshine.

#52 - bcs bs.

let me start by saying that the last time i watched an entire college football game from beginning to end, it was the only place you could find a two-point conversion. tonight, as a service to my readers, so you don’t have to watch it yourself, i’ve decided to provide you with a running tally of college football’s b.c.s championship game, featuring two teams, oklahoma & florida, who are ranked #1 and #2 respectively & are both 12-1 and high-scoring excitefests. in honor of sports excitement, i’ll be offering, you, the reader, an increased amount of exclamation points in today’s entry. enjoy!

7:45pm (pregame) – story time. florida quarterback tim tebow does inspirational stuff, goes to prisons, spreads hope & strong messages & counts blessings. on the field: spirals. off the field: spirals of hope. turns out he’s the first homeschooled athlete to win the heisman & he has bill named after him in alabama, one that aims to give homeschooled students access to high school sports. i guess that’s cool.

7:49pm – we’re getting a little taste of the fighting gator band right now. they’d better know how to fight with those fey feathers on top of their caps. oh man. now we’ve got the oklahoma pride band! they have feathers too. feather fight!

7:56pm – that 09’ ford f-150 is featured smack dab in the middle of the pregame podium & on all the video screens behind the commentators. oh. now we get a commercial for an 09 ford f-150. that’s subtle. i guess it’s fitting for a truck that you can apparently haul a cow or a bunch of sheetrock or a smaller, weaker truck in.

8:00pm – omg i so want to see the notorious b.i.g. movie next week on opening night, but in brooklyn, i bet at least one person gets shot at a screening, so there’s that.

8:01pm – wow. both teams have quarterbacks who have won heisman trophies. here’s what i know about the heisman off the top of my head. doug flutie won one. so did herschel walker. i have both received & given a few heismans myself in my time.

8:02pm – wow, oklahoma scored over 700 points this year. now if they could only say the same for their s.a.t. scores.

8:04pm – national anthem. you best recognize.

8:06pm – bcs road trip giveaway! average joes! ultimate truck! guess which kind! cody won the truck with a whoop. good for him. enjoy the taxes from your f-150 prize, cody!

8:09pm – florida’s head coach’s first name is “urban!” is that russian?

8:19pm (q1) – so these teams have never played each other? ever? weird. kickoff!

8:26pm – personal goal for 2009: purchase a headset, preferably one that allows me to communicate with someone up in the booth. alternate goal: sack someone.

8:31pm – wait…did the commentator just say that the gators have weapons all over the field? see, this is why the nfl ends up with image problems like pacman jones & mr shot-in-the-foot-at-da-club. it starts in college.

8:48pm – these teams are supposed to be high-scoring, right? we’re almost eight minutes into the game & nobody has scored. what is this? football or futbol?

8:54pm – so that demps guy on florida was the fastest teenager in america...good for him...showoff.

8:57pm – the commentator just made a comment about the negativity & cynicism of society. screw him.

9:00pm – you know what’s the best? flag after flag after flag…wicked good first quarter.

9:06pm (q2) – touchdown gators! 7-0. finally. from this point on, my support is behind the gators. go gators! chomp them injun-hating unassigned land-grabbing sooners!

9:14pm – touchdown sooners! 7-7. tie game! from this point on, my support is behind the sooners. go sooners! displace them sewer-dwelling gators!

9:22pm – gotta be honest…i’m not feeling either teams’ cheerleaders. i have a feeling it might be my hippie new england upbringing rejecting their showy southern cheerleader ways.

9:24pm – oklahoma’s chris brown is doing a number running the ball right now (8 runs for 73 yards). too bad his music sucks.

9:27pm – …it appears that his goal line scoring abilities suck too…still 7-7. at least he has rihanna. go sooners?

9:37pm – ouch. that tackle just spread & twisted that florida dude’s legs in a way that should not be used in conjunction with the phrase “that dude.” let’s go to commercial.

9:43pm – aw yeah! the school bands are coming back for halftime! feather fight!

9:46pm – this should be good. 10 seconds left. oklahoma on the 6 yard line.

9:47pm – holy bounce! major wright for florida! interception! major wrong for oklahoma! that ball ka-jiggered off of everyone’s hands! florida foils forward progress!

9:48pm – classy kneel by florida to end the half.

#52 - bcs bs.
snack: blue diamond lime n chili almonds
drink: rogue chipotle ale

i’ve decided to give the blue diamond wasabi & soy sauce almonds (my #1 snack of 2008) a bit of a rest, so as not to subject them to the law of diminishing marginal utility. i realize that there are other nuts out there & i don’t need to focus all my attention on the wasabi & soy sauce ones…so i went for the blue diamond lime n chili almonds to fill my belly during the second half. they’re not as addictively pleasing as the wasabi ones, but they’re still pretty good.

…& this bottle of rogue chipotle ale, from oregon, home of the ducks, complements them well. it’s your basic smooth ale with a spicy kick from the chipotles & a mexican-looking dude with a hat on the front of the bottle & i must note that when the oklahoma pride band is playing their “pinball wizard” medley, it makes it easier to appreciate both the smoothness & the spiciness.

10:15pm (q3) – another punt! i’m seriously considering gator chomping my roommate's cat to shake things up a bit round here.

10:21pm – what this game needs right now is a killer flee flicker and/or a statue of liberty play.

10:26pm – actually, more personal fouls will suffice for the moment. rough that kicker!

10:32pm – woah. that do-gooding florida quarterback is really trying to pump up the crowd…nothing like a riveting quarterback sneak to get the stands bumping.

10:36pm – that florida wide receiver looks hurt. that’s what he gets for trying to score!

10:39pm – i think we might be in the “red zone.”

10:40pm – wikipedia confirms that we’re in the red zone.

10:41pm – face mask!

10:43pm – trick direct snap formation! touchdown gators! 14-7.

10:44pm – so that florida quarterback has a bible passage written on his eye paint…john 3:16…the generic central tenet coca-cola of bible verses.

10:50pm – ooh. my sooners just got their field goal attempt blocked. 2 minutes left in the 3rd quarter…still time to back the gators.

10:53pm – geesh. all these players are getting injured. clock slowers! yawn. aren’t they supposed to be in shape? what are they getting paid the big bucks for?...oh, wait. never mind.

11:02pm (q4) – they just showed the “ford game summary”…should have been video footage of grass growing.

11:03pm – i think what the problem is here is that i don’t have the right attitude about this championship matchup. my expectations were too high.

11:06pm – one-shoed sooners touchdown! 14-14.

11:07pm – twelve minutes to go…i think i might have heartburn from all the chili & chipotle, but it could also be an ulcer, since i’m such a huge sooners/gators fan & this game is so uneventful/nail biting. i bet grey’s anatomy got higher ratings tonight.

11:10pm – woah. that gator guy ran forever! 52 yards! that must be why they gave him #1…although, now that i think about it, if that was the rationale behind number-assigning, you’d just have to focus your defense on the players with single-digit numbers.

11:17pm – field goal gators. 17-14. i’ve decided that i’m going to continue backing the current underdog, the sooners. coming from behind is scrappy & i’m into scrappy.

11:22pm – crap. interception florida. i spoke too soon…& i’m out of spicy beer.

11:25pm – during the commercial, i’ve done some approximate math regarding this evening’s lime n chili almond consumption & here’s what i’ve come up with:

serving size = 28 nuts
servings per can = 6
amount eaten = half can
nuts eaten = 84
calories consumed = 510

…& there are still 10 minutes left in the game. watching football is fattening!

11:28pm – defense is not just something that goes around de yard, sooners! way to give up that 3rd down conversion.

11:31pm – red zone!

11:33pm – see, florida knows what’s up. that’s what this game needed more of…shovel passes. hotter cheerleaders wouldn’t have hurt either.

11:35pm – & crazy jump passes! touchdown florida! 24-14. things are not looking good for the sooners.

11:36pm – ok. we get it. the quarterback lived in a leper colony & spreads the good word of jesus.

11:38pm – three minutes left! screen passes do not win championships, ou.

11:40pm – so the sooners just blew it on 4th down. go gators! the kitty loves the gator chomp. gator chomp? gator champ!

11:41pm – aw snap! here comes the gatorade! look out, coach urban! why didn’t i drink that during this game? too cliché? too soon?

11:48pm – tebow takes a knee. 24-14. final. gators win.

long live the gator, or, according to the florida fish and wildlife conservation commission:

“if you transfer your alligator carcass to a commercial alligator processor, you must also complete a hard copy of the alligator harvest report form and a copy of this form must be transferred with the carcass.”

sure thing, florida jerks.