the musical fruit: movement #18.

the musical fruit: movement #18.
song: "serpentine (i don't give a…pt. 2)," peaches
fruit: peach

when i first heard peaches' song "fuck the pain away," off of 2000's the teaches of peaches, her first album under the name peaches, i had no idea what to make of her. i still don't. i've never been all that into the electroclash club bangers she serves up, but i am intrigued by a woman singing the lyrics "fuck the pain away" repeatedly over dance beats. she's from toronto & was roommates with feist for a while. her persona is one of those "gender-bending" burlesque types, with an album called fatherfucker & songs like "diddle my skittle," "shake yer dix," "fuck or kill" & "boys wanna be her." even with my low tolerance for dance beats, i occasionally bop my head to her stylings.

peaches put out her fifth album, i feel cream, back in may. it opens with "serpentine (i don't give a…pt. 2)," which is my jam on the album. it's got a deep bass beat & her rapping about her beard, moustache & mullets & how sexy she is. in the chorus, she sings "i don't give a fuck if you're calling me. i don't give a fuck if you're mauling me. i don't give a fuck if you fall for me. i don't give a fuck if you're following me. serpentine serpentine. never straight line serpentine." it sets the tone for the rest of the album, which is forty plus minutes of her typical hot dance beats & sexually-tinged lyrics. stuff like "peach'll reach around, wrestle you to the ground & take you to regina. big trouble in little man-gina." um, yeah. whatever you say, peaches. just don't peg me when i'm not looking, ok?

peaches, like pears, are one of those fruits that i'm most used to eating sliced & out of a can full of syrup. it's the way i consumed them for pretty much all of my childhood. once i moved out & moved beyond canned fruits, i sort of left the peach behind. usually, if i have the choice, i get a nectarine instead. they're just better & not as fleshy. yesterday, when i went out & actually decided to pick up a peach for breakfast for the first time in a long time, i thought to myself that since it has that fuzzy, fleshy, slightly-thick skin, there must be some special way to peel the peach to get the maximum amount of fruit out of it. all i had to do was search the internet to find out what that special way was.

that's when i came across this video, which, when i watched it, had a commercial before it for cotton, featuring a song by zooey deschanel. it's the fabric of her life. mmm. zooey. cotton. her life. once the commercial ends, there's a video with some other jonathon stewart, where he demonstrates how to peel a peach. you blanch the peach (put it in boiling water for 45 seconds, drop it in a bowl of ice water to stop it from cooking) & peel it. shazzam! that's too much work for me though. he also suggested a microwave technique, but i try to not microwave my fruit. it just seems weird. in the end, i just sliced it up & peeled it as i went. it was peachy, but i'm still convinced that nectarines are the peachier fruit. sorry, peach. you're just not as sweet.