#56 - stay positive.

so as i sort of mentioned previously, here's the thing that happens during the winter...it gets cold & i tend to stay indoors more than a good lil nun & i end up feelin' more sad & illin' in the winter than in any other month & the crazy uncertainty of the economy doesn't help stem that stuff...but last week, we swore in a new optimistic president, one who was elected behind the message of hope/change (& a national grassroots machine as well-oiled as the 2007 new england patriots). bring it on, obama. ASAP.

let's take a quick look at today's layoff figures, according to an article from today's ny times:

united states
caterpillar - 20,000 jobs
sprint nextel - 8,000 jobs
home depot - 7,000 jobs
pfizer/wyeth - 8,000 jobs
general motors - 2,000 jobs

worldwide
ing - 7,000 jobs
phillips - 6,000 jobs
corus - 3,500 jobs

TOTAL = 61,500 jobs

that is a lot of jobs. the article goes on to mention that we've lost 2.59 million jobs since december of 2007. that is A LOT of jobs. that's like the entire population of vermont, alaska & the dakotas. but like the hold steady advise, i will try to stay positive. but how can i stay positive when iceland's government is collapsing, hold steady?!!! how?!!! how can i stay positive when everybody is batshit freaking out & running around with scissors in their hands slashing jobs & dumping stocks & shuttering operations?!!! at this rate, six months from now, i won't even be able to afford all these exclamation points!!!

a gmail chat with a friend earlier today:
michael: wheee! the 'conomy!
me: it's like plinko!

can't we just toss bernie madoff & a couple random banking execs & a few virgins into the fiery economy pit to appease the gods & bring this all to a swift end?

i hope that in 2009, people will CHILL THE F OUT ON THE ECONOMY. obama has it all figured out, obviously, people. relax.

i hope that in 2009, i will be able to land a job digging a ditch...& when i am done with that job, i will fill that ditch back up with dirt.

i hope that in 2009, i will not have to blog about "bread."

#56 - stay positive.

snack: tyrrell's beef & horseradish potato chips
drink: a&w root beer float

a few weeks back, i picked up a bag of these tyrrell's beef & horseradish potato chips, made by a british company. they're an "artisan delicacy" made with lady rosetta potatoes thank you very much. there's a cow on the front of the bag. it says his name is "sir walter tyrrell." he looks pretty happy as he sits lazily in the fields. i can only assume that since the company gave him a name & put him on the bag, that he's been spared the fate of dying to provide the natural beef flavouring that flavours these deliciously beefy chips. oh! on the back here, it says he lives with "his 40 lady friends!" what a stud. i guess none of them go into the chips...or do they? ooh! they could offer special "sir walter tyrrell" bags maybe? i'd pay twice the $5 i paid for this bag to know there was a little bit of their mascot in every bite. til then, stay positive, british mascot cow!

seriously, go to the a&w float website, especially if you have a slow internet connection. what you will see is written here, in white, so you can highlight the following text & read it & spoil the awesomeness if you want, or you can go to the website & see a bottle of a&w float violently jerking itself around in circles while the page loads! hilariously awesomely nauseous web graphics!

web graphics won't save this beverage though. when poured into a glass, it looks quite similar to another familiar beverage...

...and that is where the similarities end. every time i raise the glass to my nose it just, it just smells like a putrid caramel. i think that's the best way to describe it. it's tremendously sweet (63g sugar!) & syrupy & i suppose it's similar to if you made a root beer float & then forgot about it on the counter & went out to the picture shows & then came back later that night & then you were all "crap, my root beer float!" & through your tears, you tried to stay positive, panting & crying "it's still ok! it's still ok!" as you hastily carried the melted remains to the fridge, where you left them overnight & then drank them up cold the next morning.

it's sort of like that, but with better packaging, packaging that claims that the beverage is "rich, creamy, and so delicious you won't believe it comes in a bottle." you're right, a&w. i can't believe this comes in a bottle. shame on you.

EDIT: also thousands of layoffs at ibm & texas instruments. wait...texas instruments still exists?

Comments

[Jonesalicious]

Who is Michael? Do you have OTHER friends? wtf.

[parowpyro]

michael is superstar mike weber.