#192 - tv will rot your brain.

did you know that ten out of ten doctors say that network television programming will rot your brain? it's true! if you watch one too many episodes of so you think you can dance, desperate housewives, bob's burgers & we fixed your house unfortunate individual all in the same week, the organic matter that is your brain will LITERALLY begin to decompose & ooze out of our your cranial orifices like chicken juice escaping from the bottom of a non-HEFTY garbage bag, rendering you a nasty individual. your friends will begin asking questions, leading with "what the hell's leaking out of your ear?" & all you'll be able to do is mumble incoherently because of your rapid, tv-induced brain decomposition.

that's why i take cablenol. it's a little yellow pill that makes certain that if i've got the boob tube on, i'm tuned into a quality cable program that's respected by the critics even though its ratings are absolutely abysmal. just seconds after taking cablenol, i'm ready to argue with anyone about the merits of party down. with just one eucalyptus-flavored cablenol coursing through my veins like a luge champion, there are no messy barriers preventing me from skipping life for a seven-season marathon of the shield. i refuse to be your slave for a moment longer, paul lee! ask your doctor about cablenol, the little yellow pill that walter white wishes he'd thought of. side effects may include: a netflix subscription, knowledge of who kurt sutter is, irritable bowels & an obsession with the ACE awards.

it's a golden age for cable television in america & if anyone tells you something different, stuff them in the trunk of your car & toss them into a lake...well...first ask them if they've watched the entire first season of amc's the killing. if they say that they haven't yet, go ahead & do the trunk/lake thing. it's inexcusable. the show, which started as "high school girl found dead...whodunit?" took delight in, week after week, repeatedly changing the viewer's opinion of who the killer is. i actually enjoyed being led astray week after week. when it finally wrapped up two weeks back, it definitely did so on a high note that bodes quite well for season two. well played, amc.

now that the killing's done, for one more sunday i've got hbo's treme, david simon's follow up to the wire & a favorite show of those who enjoy the benefits of cablenol. the treme season finale (episode #11) airs this sunday & since i try to ruin as little as possible for my readers who might be slacking on keeping up with the important television shows of the day, i'll just say this: episode #9 was written by george pelecanos (who's become known as the angel of death on david simon's shows) & in the episode, there was a moment where the mood of the show went from blissful to sad as fuck in under thirty seconds. it was WAY more shocking than pelecanos' shocking episode in season one of treme & by the end of this past sunday's episode (ep. #10) i wanted to cry. i can't though because cablenol has dried up my tear ducts. here's to hoping this sunday's episode ends on a higher note.

luckily, even though some of my favorite shows are wrapping up, it's also a great time of year for season premieres in the world of cable. this past sunday brought the season four premiere of hbo's true blood & on the following night, the season seven premiere of weeds on showtime. i've been a big fan of both shows since the beginning, but both of this week's premieres left a sour taste in my mouth. they're officially on notice. luckily louie premiered last week & in less than three weeks, the best show on tv--breaking bad--returns, so things continue to look bright & cheery in the world of cable tv...& i have nobody to thank but the makers of cablenol.

snack: sweet sam's chocolate ganache cupcake with vanilla cream filling
drink: goose island spicy ginger soda

this past sunday, while i was watching treme & true blood, i had myself half of a sweet sam's chocolate ganache cupcake with vanilla cream filling that i picked up at a random bodega somewhere one night last week. sweet sam's is a bronx company that's been baking for around twenty years now, putting out coffee cakes & cookies & scones & whatnot. this is the first i've ever heard of them, but i suppose i don't tend to buy that many pre-packaged baked goods. good for them for sticking around for twenty years though.

it looks like a giant hostess cupcake! it barely tastes like a giant hostess cupcake! i guess that's how they don't get sued for making it. the frosting on top is much more richer than that of a hostess cupcake and the frosting on the inside tastes like something you'd frost a birthday cake with. the cake is superior to what you'd find in a hostess cupcake but all together, it's basically like eating a slice of chocolate cake with a shitload of frosting on it. while it's great at fulfilling my need for chocolate, sugar, sugar, chocolate & more sugar, it's high in fat calories, cholesterol, sugar & sodium, so it's in no way a part of a healthy diet...big cupcake though.

i paired my oversized hostess cupcake with a bottle of goose island spicy ginger soda. if you're familiar with chicago's goose island, it's likely because of their tasty beers. it turns out that they make a handful of sodas too. along with the spicy ginger, they put out a root beer, a vanilla cream, an orange cream & a concord grape soda. the company was purchased by anheuser-busch back in late march, but it's only been a few months since the sale, so i'm going to cut them some slack for the moment.

they make it with cane sugar & natural flavors, so it's got a pretty clean taste but the ginger flavor is quite strong, which i suppose contributes to the slightly spicy aftertaste of the soda. "spicy ginger soda." there you have it. simple as that. it's basically a classier ginger ale & although i don't drink ginger ales all that often, i guess when i do in the future there's a pretty good chance i'll get one of the goose island. i just hope that anheuser-busch doesn't decide to change things up & put it in a vortex bottle or add drinkability to it or some stupid shit like that.