#199 - jonesin'.

today is a time for rejoicing, eat!drink!snack! groupies. what you're currently reading is the 200th meditation i've written here on eat!drink!snack! you may be saying to yourself, "WAIT, JERK. WHY IS IT LISTED AS POST #199? WHAT UP WIT DAT?" well, sherlock holmes, it's meditation #200 because back in the semi-early days of the blog, i did a two-part post (#80a, #80b) about the two national semifinal games of the 2009 NCAA final four. yay, basketball. for our 200th post, we're going to talk about drugs. that's right...the funny stuff.

i was inspired to write this particular post after spending the last eight plus months working in the union square area. from the part of the park that the ny post dubbed "methadone alley" to the area methadone clinics to the homeless folks to the occasional influx of crusty punks, i get to see some pretty awesome drug-related shit on the daily. AW YEAH LIVIN' IN THE BIG CITY! here are a few of my fave gems:

• hangin' over the trash -if you've ever seen the heroin lean, it's a breathtakingly amazing display of contortion. on many an occasion, there's this one dude who precariously holds a cup of coffee as he leans over a trash can on the corner of park & 17th. at first i was like "oh, he's just checking for bottles or cans or a bite to eat or something in the trash can. nope. not at all. his eyes are pretty much always closed & his center of gravity is all fucked up but he's still standing upright & that cup of coffee is always seconds away from slipping out of his hand & into the trash. it never does though...AMAZING.


• loving couples -when i'm standing outside my office building enjoying tobacco & borrowing internet, i'm treated to a parade of people walking up & down park ave. if you've never been to nyc, this ain't your drummonds' park ave. sure there are tourists & models & office peeps but there are a bunch of obviously-cracked or possibly-methed out couples strolling down the sidewalk screaming at each other whilst utilizing the biggest & best hand gestures possible. the best part about their yelling is that it usually does a great job of showing off their wicked-clean teeth.


• weed & homeless people strip -there's a magic section just one block above union sq that i walk down at least once a day. some people refer to it as "east 18th between park & broadway" but i prefer to call it "weed & homeless people strip" thanks to the pleasant scents that waft across it during the ninety degree summer afternoon hours. i'm going to blame the weed smoke on barnes & noble employees sneaking out the back for a "smoke" under the cover of hot summer homeless smell. it's crazy. i mean, i enjoy the smell of weed as much as the next guy but in that context...BLECCH. 


• passion of the conversation - in "methadone alley," at any time during the day, you can find groups of four-five folks, some sitting on the benches & some standing up, all engaged in a heated debate that would make our presidential candidates look like pussies even more of pussies than they already are. it's either that or it's one dude taking control & sharing his tale of "this motherfucker" or some "stupid bitch." anywho, somebody needs to get these dudes a talk show STAT.

...& there you have it. that's union square. every day, it's like that david cross comedy bit about how in nyc it's a constant struggle between looking at the craziest guy in the world or the hottest girl in the world. i try to keep my eye on all the union square hotties for sho but man, those drugged up crazies are just the best.

snack: jones fufu berry carbonated candy
drink: jones orange & cream soda

in honor of all those poor souls out there who are TOTALLY JONESIN', today we've got an all jones soda snack-drink pairing. oh. you didn't know that jones soda, the makers of CAH-RAY-ZEE sodas, also make snackable goods? me either, dude. life is amazing, huh? said snackable goods have been around since 2006 but i only first laid eyes on them just a few months back--jones fufu berry carbonated candy. turns out that way back in '06, jones converted three of their sodas--berry lemonade, green apple & the fufu berry--into cane-sugar-based candy form & started selling them in slick-looking tins. these days, you can eat fourteen of their sodas.

it's safe to say that i was really looking forward to the idea of a carbonated candy. one reason: willy wonka bottle caps. you whippersnappers may not be familiar with them because they aren't as prevalent now as they were back in my day but the concept's pretty simple. they're bottle-cap-shaped candies that taste like various sodas. cola was my jam & for a while, they came out with fizzy bottle caps that added fizz into the mix. OUT. STANDING.

as for the jones fufu berry candies, they have little to no carbonation. sure, despite the TOTALLY GAY name, the fufu berry flavor is pretty nice but i want FIZZ damnit. it's 2012! is candy fizz technology that lacking that jones soda couldn't come up with something to actually make their candies carbonated? disappointment aside, i'm planning on getting more because they're tasty & i love carrying them around in my man purse for a quick candy fix. i WON'T get the green apple ones though. green apple is a revolting candy flavor. i'm looking squarely in your direction, jolly ranchers.

i paired my letdown candy with a bottle of jones orange & cream soda. here's the thing about jones sodas. yeah they're made with cane sugar & yeah the flavors are extremely creative if not disgusting (see: turkey & gravy soda). sure they've got a clean flavor & sure jones lets you customize bottles of soda with your own photos on them. that's all great. somehow though, their sodas never seem to produce as awesome of a flavor as i've come to expect from a good cane sugar soda. i bet it's cause they're canadian. it's a scientific fact that canadians just aren't as extreme as us americans.

with the orange & cream flavor, i feel like they really didn't stand a chance at winning my love. both boylan's & virgil's orange cream sodas are top tier. with the jones version, the carbonation was low & the cream flavor wasn't as prominent as i prefer. don't get me wrong. it's a good orange soda. it's just not a good orange cream soda. [sad trumpet] DOUBLE SNACK-DRINK LETDOWN. now where's my heroin? i need me a pick-me-down.