nosh nook #172 - tuesday, november 10, 2009

kraft makes hostile bid for cadbury (link)
11.9.09 - cnn money - by david goldman

back in september, i mentioned that kraft foods, america's largest & the world's second largest food & beverage company, was looking to buy cadbury, a british company that's the world's largest candy manufacturer. they offered cadbury $16.7 billion for their company, a figure that was significantly less than the $23 billion that mars payed for wrigley gum last year. cadbury was all "i do say, sir. your offer is quite insulting. QUITE. we advise you to kindly stick it where the sun does not shine." after that, a lot of people thought the deal might be dead.

yesterday, the deadline for cadbury to accept kraft's offer officially passed & kraft was all "screw you, we're going to take your company from you then." HOSTILE TAKEOVER BITCHEZ! as cnn money reports, kraft lowered their offer to $16.3 billion & brought it straight to the shareholders. sorry, management. roger carr, cadbury's chairman believes that "kraft's offer does not come remotely close to reflecting the true value of (his) company, and involves the unattractive prospect of the absorption of cadbury into a low growth conglomerate business model." oh snap, kraft! that brit called you a low-growth conglomerate!

kraft ceo irene rosenfeld has a different opinion on the matter. "we believe that our proposal offers the best immediate and long-term value for cadbury's shareholders and for the company itself compared with any other option currently available, including cadbury remaining independent." wow. you hear that, cadbury? are you going to sit there & let an american mock the feasibility of your independence like that all while lowering her offer? it's downright preposterous! i guess it's not all bad for you, since news of the hostile takeover made your stock rise while kraft's fell. too bad the stock market's a rollercoaster ride & your stock will probably be up & down more times than a manic depressive elevator operator by the week's end. but seriously, good luck with the hostile takeover.

nosh nook #127 - tuesday, september 8, 2009

will kraft swallow british chocolate-maker cadbury? (link)
09.07.09 - time/cnn - by adam smith

hey, remember when the british ruled? when i say that, i'm talking about when the british actually ruled. yeah, that time's over. not so great now, are we britain? u.s.a! u.s.a.! actually, somebody over in china's probably thinking the same thing right now about us americans. never mind. still, we're much more powerful than the u.k. both militarily & politically & as such, we should totally own as much of them as possible. i'm not just talking about owning lame stuff like sasha baren cohen or newcastle united f.c. either. we need to think bigger than that.

kraft has the right idea. as time/cnn reports, yesterday, kraft (the world's second-largest food & beverage company) revealed that "it had launched a $16.7 billion bid for british confectioner cadbury" in "a bold effort to create 'a global powerhouse in snacks.'" a powerhouse of snacks! ever since "mars picked up chewing gum maker wrigley for $23 billion in 2008—overtaking cadbury to become the world's biggest confectioner," analysts were figuring that somebody would eventually make a bid for cadbury. that's where kraft comes in, although they've reportedly undervalued cadbury with an offer that's "half that tabled by mars in its acquisition of wrigley."

the article's written by adam smith, who has pretty much the best name ever for a business journalist. free market, baby. smith notes that the possibility of a takeover puts cadbury in an interesting position. shareholders would make a lot of money if kraft takes over & kraft's promised to "preserve u.k. staff." if cadbury was to turn down the offer, they'd likely have to cut staff to create higher profits for shareholders, which would piss a lot of brits off. those signs point to cadbury selling & as a result, it's "left some analysts backing the americans." heck, if i can still get my cadbury creme eggs but the profits from my purchase now go to americans instead of brits, i'll back it too. viva la mega-merger! viva la u.s.a.!

nosh nook #36 - monday, may 4, 2009

machine dispenses snacks while bbc talks doom and gloom about the economy (link)
05.03.09 - slipperybrick.com - by conner flynn

how would you like it if every time you got bad news, you got a snack as well? swine flu has shuttered your country? here's a bag of doritos for you. your fiance is a murderer? crack open a cool, crisp nestea. eighty civilians died today in a bombing in your village market? have a clark bar. it's pretty obvious that if we had vending machines that took the edge off bad news with a free snack, life would be a lot sweeter. at the plymouth college of art, in the u.k., such a vending machine exists. in this case, it's just an art project, but that's technically still reality.

as flynn notes in the article, bbc headlines come up on a monitor attached to the vending machine. every time a headline speaks to bad economic news, the vending machine dispenses a packet of walker's crisps, which you can take. glasgow based ellie harrison, the current artist in residence at plymouth college of art, developed the piece, which speaks to both generosity & "a time in the future when our access to food may literally be determined by wider political or environmental events. we may not be able to access what we want, when we want, at the touch of a button."

vending machine from ellie harrison on vimeo.

i like it.  good concept.  good snacks.  good art.

snack away! #4 - all the dick in d.c...

throughout high school and college, i worked at a supermarket in nh as a stock clerk so i certainly know my way around the aisles. i knew where everything in grocery was; i probably still do for my high school store. stuffing? aisle 2: veg. kleenex? aisle 14: bulk paper. beef bullion? aisle 3: spag. hell, i even knew the tricky stuff. capers? nice try. aisle 8: glass. i was also familiar with the really weird things that people rarely bought and i'd only stock a case of once a year... potted meat product, nutella, mrs. dash? who buys this crap? (ed note: hell yeah, nutella!)

a few weeks back it was under somewhat peckish circumstances that i found myself behind the cart at my local fashionable-sweatpants-yuppie-supermarket in suburban washington d.c. i had picked up my normal assorted veggies and meats and breads and was banking a hard right into aisle 5: ethnic/imported foods...might as well grab some kind of funky sauce to douse the chicken with one evening. while i examined a jar of curry to make sure it would make me sorry i bought it the next day, a can i hadn't stumbled on before caught my eye.


spotted dick indeed. if you're going to stump me on a grocery item, it better be ethnic and it better be something i'd never eat. bonus points if there is an intercontinental sexual slang innuendo. after some examination and research, it is apparently some sort of british canned pudding priced at a decidedly ambitious $5.99 per can. american. now mind you, i wouldn't characterize myself as a fan of dick by american definition, so it never crossed my mind that i might buy this version, but two weeks and one guest blog invitation later, here i am in the kitchen with a can opener ready to crack open this little tin of love from the venerable heinz corporation. somehow i don't think this qualifies as one of the 57 original heinz varieties.

snack away! #4 - all the dick in d.c...
guest blogger: todd martin, washington, d.c.

snack: heinz spotted dick sponge pudding
drink: twinings english breakfast tea

so it's about 4:00 and i'm thinking a british snack would hit the spot, so i'm breaking out the heinz spotted dick sponge pudding. the directions instruct me to open the top of the can, run a knife around the perimeter, turn upside down, and open the other side to push the product out. i would soon find that the last two steps are not necessary as a brick of dick immediately smashed onto my counter as soon as i turned the can over. not encouraging.

it smells decent enough - more like a canned cake-like confection with raisins as opposed to a pudding. bill cosby would seemingly not approve. i did not realize there was cooking involved and am ill-prepared for this event. according to the directions, i now have the option to steam or microwave this thing. in the interest of time, i go with the latter and also toss in a mug of water with the hope that the spotted dick aroma doesn't turn it into something almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea. i'm not exactly sure what made me go all cheeky with the beverage as well, but what the heck.


hey, you know what? not bad! it's cakey and warm and wholesome. really sweet. i would guess the spices include molasses and cinnamon, maybe even pumpkin. i never thought i would like it at first glance but it just goes to show you never judge a dick by its cans. the twinings english breakfast tea complimented it well, perhaps a bit over-steeped but good nonetheless. i have some dick saved for the girlfriend on thursday and you might even find this on my grocery list in the near future.

todd martin is a struggling architectural designer in washington d.c. you should totally have him redo your kitchen.

nosh nook #28 - wednesday, april 22, 2009

fast food police: caribbean takeaway closed down for opening too close to schools (link)
04.21.09 - the daily mail - by dan newling

a proposal to separate fast food and schools (link)
04.21.09 - the ny times - by cara buckley

europeans are always way ahead of us in everything--fashion, the arts, abolishing slavery, etc. once again, they've beat us to the punch, this time in the u.k., in waltham forest, a borough in east london, where they've passed britain's first law that prohibits takeaways from selling fast food near schools. yesterday, the police moved in & shut down their first shop.

according to dan newling, "bamboo joint," a caribbean takeaway that opened just six weeks ago, was ordered by police to close the place down within three days.  the owner says that her place sells food that's "not even unhealthy. (they) sell jamaican-style rice and peas, and jerk chicken" and the "street is full of takeaways selling fish and chips and burgers," so she's not sure why she was targeted...because the local government's playing nanny...that's why.  sorry bout your livelihood, ma'am.

not to be outdone by our british counterparts, queens councilman eric gioia came up with a plan & this weekend, he put forth a proposal that would prohibit new fast-food restaurants from opening within a tenth of a mile from a school. sound familiar? who knows if gioia is even aware of the recently passed east london law?  either way, it's very coincidental.

as cara buckley reports, one thing he is aware of is a recently released study, "the effect of fast food restaurants on obesity," which linked students' obesity to the proximity of fast food joints to their schools. as such, he's proposing his ban along with "other tactics to fight childhood obesity, like easing access to food stamps, putting greenmarkets in poor neighborhoods and educating children about healthy eating." at least there's that last part in there about educating kids, because last i checked, we live in the u.s.a. & people should be able to open restaurants if they want to. ultimately, the root of the problem is not the existence of the fast-food restaurant. it's the consumer's lack of healthy eating habits & self-restraint. the nanny state stuff is for the birds.